My parents placed me in a program called Kids Helping Kids at age 14 due to turmoil within our family. I was interrogated and strip searched with an orifice examination upon my intake. I was restrained physically during my intake with unreasonable force. I was informed that I was a drug addict without any diagnosis whatsoever and treated for a drug addiction that I never had for almost 2 years.

I had no rights to privacy, especially while using the toilet or showering. I had no communication with the outside world including family, attorneys, police, doctors, psychologists, friends, et cetera. No mail or telephone use was permitted. There were rules called confidentiality and no talking behind backs. These were rules of secrecy used to  control all communication and to hide abuses.

I was physically restrained dozens of times by other kids at the instruction of staff. I believe I could have easily been killed. Restraint was used primarily as a punishment. I was placed in "timeout" rooms (solitary confinement). These rooms were 4 ft. by 6 ft. and were about 15 ft. high with a steel door and the floor was concrete. It was very cold in these rooms.

I was verbally assaulted and humiliated as a part of therapy every day. I was forced to lie about my past and had to make up stories about crimes, drug use and sex acts to progress to avoid being set back, verbally assaulted or restrained. I was not permitted to look at or talk to the opposite sex or talk without permission. We were to ask permission to do anything including use toilet paper. Any request could be denied.

I was forced to sing children’s songs all day in between raps and meals as a means of torment. I was forced to wave and flap my arms ferociously to show my desire to get off drugs. I was held down on the floor and my hair was cut off against my will. After 3 months I carved tracks of skin from my arms and after 4 months I attempted suicide due to failed escape attempts.

The complaint procedure was used to inform staff of minor rule infractions made by other kids. Sometimes we would lie using this system to progress. No reasonable complaint would be addressed including medical concerns.

I was brainwashed after 4 months. This was the most horrifying aspect and most damaging process I experienced in the program. I was psychologically broken and subsequently brainwashed. I had several nervous breakdowns which led to my brainwashed state. I had hallucinations and didn’t know who I was anymore. Any suggestions by peers or staff became past thoughts and were incorporated into my memory as realities. Once brainwashed, I no longer had my identity, thoughts and was not in control of my actions. I think it is important to mention that the beginning of my time in the program is where the emotional trauma and psychological damage was inflicted at its utmost.

The constant torment I endured at Kids Helping Kids was a mixture of torture, brainwashing, abuse and human rights violations. The tremendous psychological damage I incurred as a result has been a large detriment in my ability to live a healthy life. It is my hope that no other child be brainwashed and abused in the name of treatment or for any other reason.